Posts tagged "writing"

The Houses that Can Burn

In the Blue Mountains bushfires of 1994, my cousin’s house was caught in a firestorm. They knew it was coming. Half the street fled, half stayed. There were no right answers, each family did what they thought was best, or all they could do.

My uncle stayed in the house with them. They’d hosed the roof, removed the dead leaves, taken all the precautions the rural fire brigade had issued. Houses were exploding, one by one, down the street. The sky was black with smoke.

The fire rattled closer and closer, down the street, skipping certain houses like Israelite doors painted with lamb’s blood, devouring others whole. My uncle said it was like being in hell, all shadows orange, all air thick.

They lived.

Others who fled either lived or lost everything. Others who stayed either lived or lost everything.
There was never a right answer.

When my body shut down last year, I fled. I took no precautions, left the lights on, the doors unlocked. Abandoned myself in the night, a shadow against the fire, retreating as far as the arctic until the flames were fluttering sparks in the dark west.

I returned home, months later, to find everything moved, ever so slightly. As though children had come in to turn over my knick knacks in their small, smooth hands, sanding down wild edges, their thumbs hooked behind the hinges of my jaw, patient, careful. It was not unpleasant, but it was disorienting, to have the mess corralled while I was frozen all those months.

(It wasn’t accidental – as useless as therapy felt some weeks, it was a glacial drift back to land. Moving through a frozen sea in increments, the strange absence of the arctic, back toward the houses that could burn, the unfrozen world.)

Whatever bravery comes with returning home I can claim, accidental but true. There was never a right answer. I fled because I could not stay, and returned only when I could. It’s luck, and precaution, and gut instinct, and fraught.


Fixed Points

My grandparents didn’t know, when they married May 19th 1943, that 40 years later, to the day, one of their grandchildren would be born.

We don’t know anything until it happens, until it pops into existence from the fog of the great unthinkable.

I bought a coffee one morning, maybe seven years ago, and got on a train, and on that long train ride into the city I made plans and promises to myself, jittering on a caffeine high. So as a direct result of that coffee, those plans and promises, nearly everything about my life is as it currently stands.

That morning in late 2006 I was 23, and I decided I wanted to be a rock DJ, which came to me whilst thinking about Queens of Noize and Robots in Disguise, which I was aware of because of many years obsessing over the Mighty Boosh, which I watched in part because my friend Chris loved it, who I wouldn’t have met if I hadn’t followed Tegan to ACU, who wouldn’t have moved to my high school if her Father wasn’t in the army, and who I wouldn’t have talked to very much if I hadn’t spent the previous four years in a completely destructive friendship that I was so open to burning to the ground.

Since then, I became a DJ, which introduced me to the network of people that includes something approaching 100% of the people I’ve kissed in the last 5 years, and lead me to meet my current housemates, to meet the friend who would eventually hook me up with my current job, and all the sprawling, intricate implications for my future career that this is currently having.

That was just a cup of coffee, and the big and little things that preceded it. It’s hard to remember that I’m building something, here, we all are. We’re cobbling together something huge and lifelong, even when it feels like you’re not, even when it feels like you’re standing still.

It’s a strange thing to reflect on.

office space.

Let’s pretend this is that incredibly dense and interesting piece I keep meaning to write about the special kind of relationship you form with co-workers, and how it’s the closest thing to being born into a family that we ever experience, short of when we are actually born into a family (we don’t choose these people, we are grouped with them by chance). Through the lens of depression, as well. All through the lens of depression.

Let’s pretend this is that, because I cannot write it?

The pleasure of empathy when you feel empty, these people you can care for, talk to, hear about, in a way that doesn’t interfere with your broader collapse, of your not leaving your bed except to go to work. It works in conjunction with it, even. I was hugely depressed for a large part of last year, and the only human emotion I felt was when I was “work” Michelle. Lost in the soothing, numbing tasks of excel spreadsheets and cold fusion errors and right and wrong answers, that was the wasteland, and the only conditions, in which I was able to connect with people. 

There’s more. That’s not all of it. But I can’t quite map it out. A family you’re thrown in with, and need to find a way to exist with. I haven’t been depressed in a couple of months, but the fondness and ease remains. It’s a special kind of dependance I have on these people: who they are, and what they care about, and what they expect from me, and what I want to offer them.

In some ways they illuminated the path I think I want to follow: understanding what makes people feel happy and strong, and helping them to work out how to get it.  

The Handsome Old Cloak

I know all too well that my states of mind are fluid - I can spend months on an upswing followed by relative darkness, with little to no discernible trigger. It’s a scary thing, that your brain can just flip a switch like that and then you don’t get out of bed for four months except to go to work.

But one thing that I’ve finally learnt from having that as a reality is to not over-think the good times. Don’t sweat the possibilities. Enjoy feeling stupid on a saturday afternoon, and harmonising with your housemate playing guitar, and exposing your vulnerabilities openly, and expecting nice things, drawing the gathering desire for love around you like a handsome old cloak. It’s the human time, now, the heartbeat times. When you suddenly have so much more to lose it’s the time to hold the paradox of that in your hands like a baby bird.

My frustrations at the moment are with work, knowing what I want for once and it being a hard-won process. There’s only so much I can do immediately, for myself, but there are some small victories of satisfaction. Insinuations into other people’s lives. Imagine that, actively getting your hands dirty with other people’s stories. Imagine that. 

I picture what I want for myself so clearly at the moment. It feels like I’ve just been gathering all this data for years, ever the scientist, and finally have enough to build a realistic picture. I can tell you what I do and don’t accept, in myself and in others. I can tell you who I am, literally for the first time in my life I understand the question that has plagued me since high school. Who are you. How was that at all quantifiable? And it isn’t, I don’t think, until you understand the power of your own humanity. It’s not that I went to the woods etc etc to find that out, spent years in darkness on purpose to emerge wizened, profound. I’m neither, I’m just conscious again. It was a horrible mess that I dissociated from almost completely at times. But I think that - for now, for now, for now - everything that has passed constructs a concept of myself that I just couldn’t see before. I wasn’t one of the lucky ones who either always understood the question, or thought they did. This is news to me. It’s so basic but it is news to me. 

And I still don’t think it’s quantifiable in words. I am infinitely capable of being alive, but also of changing my world, and needing all the stupid, perfect nonsense that comes with coming back from the dead to find the world unchanged, waiting. 

I’m living the most inane double life ever.

It stems from a few things. 

1. That I retreated completely inside my own head for the last 6-12 months, to reconsider and reset myself.
2. To do that I used work as an outlet, a place to be where no one expected me to be anyone in particular
3. The outcome of that was to put an inordinate amount of effort into what I was doing, and the outcome of that was to be given lots of opportunities to do new things.
4. I am doing those other things, and have refined them to a point where I’ve become really specifically passionate, and have a pretty solid idea about what I want the next couple of years to look like. 

Socially? I am the same quiet, hidden person I’ve been for the last year or so. My friends outside of work see no difference. They probably think I’m still as depressed as I was a last year. Professionally? I’m really, really excited. So there’s this double life at work, and the disconnect is really jarring at times. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop - in either direction. I was at a couple of parties earlier tonight, and after a pretty astounding day at work I was really keen to test myself, see if work Michelle can’t bleed over into social Michelle. 

She can’t. And I don’t know, maybe it’s ok. I hang less importance on stuff like that now. It is what it is. 

The scarier thing is that it could all very quickly disappear, and I know that so well. I frequently teeter on the edge of something good and then abandon it. My greatest fear is becoming the one who showed potential but kinda faded away, because that is what I always do.

I lost sight of myself for a really long time, but I think the important thing for me to remember is that my dream job has typically involved helping people. And then I stopped being able to be around peopleso it was lost. So I’m confident that the work I’m doing at the moment - this weird, independent, preparatory, badgering, formative work - is coming from an honest place. It doesn’t feel like work in the sense that I’m taking on a task set by someone else to be completed, or to fulfill a requirement. I don’t know where it’s going (exactly), or how it’s going to play into my career, but it’s really important to me, and that’s enough in some ways.

And it’s honestly the culmination of what I’ve been slowly realising this last year: we’re all, in our immense, disparate, clumsy, infinitely interesting ways, totally fine - and our immense, disparate, clumsy, infinitely interesting ways need to be encouraged, drawn out, nurtured, utilised.

& of course how it should be.

Despite having it from time to time, I honestly don’t care about sex. I could probably never have sex again and it wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference to me. That could change if I ever met someone I connected with enough to convince me otherwise, but sex would definitely be the byproduct of that connection, and not a path we took to get to it. I have sex, when I have sex, for the story, or because I’m enjoying a guy’s company, or for the moment, or because I’m bored; because I feel like it. Same as anyone else who ever wants to, I suppose. The difference might be that it’s not to feel close to someone - that’s not how I feel close to them. 


The weird thing is that this seems to be incredibly confronting to most people I talk about it with. It becomes suddenly a perceived judgement of what they like, or sometimes what they think everyone should like. I am pretty close to being the most accepting person there is when it comes to who you choose to sleep with. I am incredibly sex-positive. I encourage all the sex you could ever dream of having, if everyone is on board with what it means. I get really happy to see healthy, sex-positive stories on tv. I am always happy for my friends when they get laid. My lack of interest in sex is never going to be a response to your interest in it. Ever.

The most confusing thing for someone who shapes their world view internally is to be confronted with people whose world view is shaped by the community: I don’t need to compare myself or others to a norm, because norms are meaningless. I just wish there was a really easy way to convey that to other people.

It’s not a choice to wait until marriage, though that is of course fine. It’s not a fear of men. It’s not shame, nor hiding from something. But most of all, what it isn’t is a novelty. And nothing is set in stone, for anyone. If I wake up tomorrow and decide to have more sex than you can shake a stick at (a weird past-time, but ok), that is also fine, and doesn’t mean I’ve “grown up” or been “fixed”.

What I want and what you want do not have to be the same thing. To think that is immature, and short-sighted. It’s not that I need anyone to accept me, I just need them to not treat me like a novelty.

What it Means to Grow Up

I adore Bruce Springsteen. Without irony or concern for trend, I adore him. And I’m not alone in this: I am surrounded by people in their 20s and 30s who are fervent in their love of him, in a way that extends well past the typical shorthand for ‘80s cool that can accompany any popular retroactive fan base (see: almost everything hipsters have done or claimed to enjoy over the last decade). A deep love of Springsteen is not a badge for us. It is far too emotional; there is too much ugly honesty in our proclamations for that.

With his upcoming Australian tour (finally) announced, the burning question of why we are so in love with him became more pertinent than ever: it seems important to prove that this is not part of the cultural despoiling that seems to have ravaged anything of note from the last three decades, endlessly remixed in an attempt to seem aware of our heritage. Seems important to prove that we are not, in fact, the worst sort of hipsters, obsessed with something we have no real connection to as a way of asserting our specialness. Conversely, it is all about connection, and our very real need to locate ourselves in an ongoing narrative of what it means to grow up.  

The answer, as I’ve found it, is a two-part process: the reasons his music and magnetism are still relevant, and a chronological study of that music, from his beginnings to the last album we still find relevant (it’s Tunnel of Love, for those playing at home).

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Everything should start unclothed.

I am reading Just Kids, the synchronicity we have with Patti and Robert is not heartbreaking as much as it is shocking, pulling all my breath from me. I was, once, the bewildered Patti to his helpless Robert, desperate for the clean algorithms of a regular marriage but left holding the curios of our otherness, not always with grace.

***

I have known from the second I saw him, a stranger, that I was connected to him. It was a jolt of old recognition, early on a friday night and two months before I met him. He did not feel it like that. I can’t say how it was mirrored, even now that we have more or less settled into our final form, cannot say how the defeat in me was reflected or inverted in him. I don’t explicitly know how he would tell the story; it’s not the sort of thing he would ever want to do. But I love him, have loved him in as many different ways as you can think of, as a sister can love her brother, a wife can love her husband, we are at once the chrysalis and cocoon, both the emergent creatures.

No one tells you the pain of that jigsaw puzzle, of finding something so undeniably a part of you but at once completely alien, jostling your pieces against each other, trusting there is a shape you make but unable to quite make it. It is a messy business. There were periods where we almost didn’t make it, though strangely never when we dated other people. It was always independent of that, more than that, except when we (I) worried from the outside that the other was not being revered as they should be.

But it is worth it, the long, hard road is worth it, his endless patience with my endless confusion, my unwavering belief in everything he is and interest in everything he does, because even when I fall in love, and marry, I will know what it means to have another half that is not bound to me with normal things, with sex, the innocence of it proof that it is real, and it is ours, and it is borne of nothing concrete, is founded solely in inevitability. The memories of before, when we tried to be in love, are solemn, precious to me, but were archived finally long ago, are now artefacts of an age passed quickly, an age passed as it was supposed to. If nothing else, there is a fittingness to the nudity of our beginnings, that everything should start unclothed, as all life does.

***

We used to play a game where we would stand apart and wrap a scarf around our faces, and we would appear as disembodied heads to each other. Divorced of our bodies, we were stupidly enchanted, and there was nothing strange about the beds we shared nor the hours spent in whole other worlds, worlds that resembled this one but had no rules, no time, no difficulty, no other mythologies than ours.

***

We are not something you can understand unless you have a him of your own.

***

I trust he forgives me this nonsense, as he usually does.

For Hire: A Metaphysical Fixer.
End-to-end service provided.
Can correct most personal complexities and relieve most moral quandaries. Conditions apply.

Contact Aurelia, c/ McAdams Vintage Finds.

NB: some corporeal re-adjustment may be necessary. Training provided. All care, no responsibility.

**

Aurelia knelt on the damp grass.
She could feel the spring air under her collar. The wind whipped her hair into dark, looping tangles; she stayed very still. Her fingers were numb.

She tried to keep her breathing level, even as the darkness closed in, even as her lungs became tighter.

She thought of the desert, thought of the desert, and then she was gone.

**

Hearing Low’s $20 is like a car crash in slow motion, a neck snapping back in the night at quarter speed. The embryonic cocoon of a dimmed plane, between the desert of night clouds and the full, bright moon, the strange tide of xanax sleep, a punch-drunk submission.

I dive south, I dive south and away and leave
the worst of myself by the dead fields of Wyoming.  

My love is for free, my love.
My love is for free.  

Les Miserables: The Tumblr Edition

I was determined to prove that 2 hrs 38 mins was excessive, so I rewrote it.

Valjean: Ugh Fuck I’m still a slave :(
Javert: Last day on the job! You’re free. LOL JKS I’m gunna be on u like balls on a bull this is war fuck u

Vlajean: IT WAS BREAD JESUS CHRISTLET IT GO.
Javert: fine go BUT IF U MISS PAROLE UR MINE ur gunna clean my balls
Valjean: …you talk about balls a lot.


Priest in a ski lodge: Heyyyyyy gurl y so sad come in here?? COME ON it’ll be the most.
All the maids: fuuuuuuuck nice one this is totally foolproof u old dick.
Valjean: **eyes the silver** UM SO y’all look real sleepy u should all definitely turn in like right now sleepyheads shhhhh dass it sleep now
**YOINK**
Valjean: singin about all my silver!!!!!


Alpine Po-Po: Nuh uh, come on, back u go.
Valjean: ughhhhhhhh gr8 well this ISN’T AWKWARD AT ALL fuck.
Ski lodge Priest: Ohhhh no it’s ok I got dis – um here u dropped the other silver I GAVE YOU WINK WINK hehe  Just use it to be a Christian cool LIKE I TOLD YOU RIGHT? *taps nose* BE. CHRISTIAN.
Valjean: holy fuck this is a hard sell on god tbh

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antonyelchinphotography:

church santa fe

do you remember the low roof, the lonely flatsand all that night, so heavy, the day of the dead in every gallery, every alcove, every church a tombleft unexplored,do you do you.

antonyelchinphotography:

church santa fe

do you remember the low roof, the
lonely flats
and all that night, so heavy,
the day of the dead in every gallery, every alcove, every church a tomb
left unexplored,
do you
do you.

Born to Run & Darkness on the Edge of Town

It was not until 1975s Born to Run that Springsteen manages to properly synthesise the focus on escapism he had hinted at in those earlier albums. Narratively, he blooms into a conduit here, a passionate and desperate voice of breaking out, of what it means to be both trapped and a dreamer. It is universal and seductive, and while critics might later accuse him of capitalizing on this – or at the very least obsessing over it – on Born to Run he finally gave voice to the emergent confusion of the American dream. The land of opportunity was now arguably in decline: the Vietnam war was lost and unacknowledged, inflation was at an all-time high, manufacturing industries were in decline, Watergate had dismantled faith in the government, an energy crises threw the unsustainability of life as Americans knew it into stark relief, even the frontier of space was conquered and forgotten. So in the shadow of all this, Springsteen formed a narrative that framed the personal with the comprehensive: his characters are stuck in a failing economy, betrayed by the most basic promise of being born American: you can become anything.

While Thunder Road and Born to Run – essentially retellings of each other– provide the most moving stories, the fury of young love hemmed in by circumstance and class and promises to make it out, it is in the closing track, Jungleland, that we are given the darkest of tableaus: escapist dreams and true love are noble, but nobility is nothing in the face of inevitability, of circumstance:

In a bedroom locked / in whispers / of soft refusal and then surrender in the tunnels uptown / the Rat’s own dream guns him down / as shots echo down them hallways in the night / No one watches when the ambulance pulls away / or as the girl shuts out the bedroom light.

Though three years separate this track and Springsteen’s fourth album, Darkness on the Edge of Town, Jungleland is tonally as good a preface as you could hope for. Darkness is dark, elegiac. There are no love songs. All escape is thwarted. There are still the bright brass sounds and major chord progressions, but make no mistake: Springsteen is cementing the cynicism of Born to Run in songs that focus not only on the loss of individual dreams, but focuses actively on the guilt inherent in wanting to break free: in his eternal escape, he here stops and looks back at who is being left behind, and what they have sacrificed for him to run.

your words cannot be trusted now.

Something I have learned, and only very recently, is that when you are a “”“”“writer”“”“”, you (annoyingly) diminish the value of your words to loved ones over time, unless you move toward any kind of action to bolster it.

Your words can maintain all kinds of outside mystery, hope, strength and love, but when you wield those words in the direction of someone who knows you well, and someone toward whom you have not acted upon, or for, in any real way, it immediately drives home the importance of action over words.

To summarise

For those who aren’t writers: never trust a writer who wants you.
For those who are writers: your words cannot be trusted by those you want.

It’s true of me, it’s true of other ~writers~ I know. That thick swell of sentimentality leaves a disingenuous aftertaste in your reader’s mouths. You can win hearts once with words, but they are the sword you fall upon when you wield them once more.

That is a realisation that has changed how I function, how I relate, and how I interact with the world around me. Of course words are vital, are the best tool I have to share myself, but they are not a crutch, and they are not a weapon, and they are not everything unless I am also something.

Who Are You This Time: A 2012 Retrospective

I’ve tried a few times to write a 2012 review. I can’t. Instead I stole Julia’s questionnaire. 

Under a cut because this shit is long-ass.

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she had a messy bedroom on the edge of town.

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